Jia-my new awakening: Learning Life all over again!!

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." ~Joseph Addison

How true!! Pure,true slefless love is what I experience when around my litle angel.No words can do justice to the warmth she cause to my being. I adore just being with her & noticing her talks,acts & sheer display of raw innocent emotions!Time stands still & everything else seems trivial.The sheer joy on her face ,the glint in her eyes & the smile on her lips convey what she tries to convey.



It’s strange how events turn into memories and memories fade so soon. I know I have said this before, but it’s just the mystery of it all that makes me wonder again and again. Jia is now almost 3years, come Jan1’09 and the memories of her first few days/months are slowly fading away. It sounds shocking, I know. But I don't remember what all happened distinctly now. I remember the progress that has happened, but I don't remember what happened each and every day. It’s like the sand in the hourglass is falling and there are some specks I remember, but most of the specks of sand have drifted away to be lost in time.Well, I didn't really start writing this post with all that in mind. This was supposed to be an account of the progress of Jia as such, but my thoughts also have a habit of drifting away:-D.

I've said many times that it’s been a pleasure watching her grow, but haven't really explained how it all comes about. The changes are so noticeable that it’s like it was not there yesterday, but its there today. And that’s the part that’s astonishing. I always had this idea that as parents we'd "teach" stuff to the baby and what I've discovered is that we don't really need to "teach" her anything. It’s like you do what you do normally and she learns everything slowly all on her own. And the whole thing is oh-so-gratifying :).

My connection-real connection with Jia dawned d day I saw her during an ultrasound at a maternity clinic in Dammam, SaudiArabia. Kavi was 5months pregnant then.It was 5.Sept’05 &a lazy evening! I was shown the baby growing with her heart, brain, and hands n legs! Something suddenly inside me snapped! I felt a unique divine connection with d LORD! His creation, his blessing of life! Pearls of tears rolled down my cheeks & for once in my life I was speechless…Yes! Speechless! It was just soft prayer to the LORD for showcasing his creation! I could not sleep a wink all night! I was just recollecting what I had seen & it enabled me realize that soon enough I would be a father!! First time in my life, I wept like a little child…wept in happiness that soon enough I would be seeing a part of me & kavi in front of our eyes.Eversince life has been different!! My life changed that night!! A new sense of responsibility & care took shape deep within me! I have never been the same again!

Dec 28’05,Kavi was suddenly told by the gynac that the baby was a standing breach & hence would need a cesarean section .We were asked to choose the day & lo,I jumped at the idea of Jan 1st as d day Jia would come into our lives! God willed it so too! Kavi was admitted on Dec 31’05 & all night I could not sleep! I was praying like crazy, all trough the night for a healthy, normal baby with no complications to either Kavi or the baby! Jan 1’06!!Yes I lit the morning lamp at the LORD’S alter & rushed to Kavi’s side. Bingo! 11.08am, my sis Suji who was allowed to assist the operation came out with thumbs up sign & said “congrats!!She is just like an angel-pink n cute”! Phew!! My heart started thundering with happiness and only HE knows the nos of grateful thanks that I said to myself!!

Jia’s 1st sight –all pinky, cute rolled in a soft blanket being carried out of Operation Theater by my sister & Kavi on a stretcher is a sight I would never forget. First thing I did was hug Kavi & hold our little baby & soak in all the divine vibrations I was experiencing at the mere sight of this sweet little bundle of joy. My 1st impression was that she looked much like Kavi!!

When Jia was born, as it is with all babies, she was silent, meaning no activities most of the time. Yes, she'd cry when she was hungry (I still can't get over the idea that doctors call it the not-so-developed stage despite the fact that her-stomach in empty -> it-sends-a-signal-to-her-brain -> her-brain-sends-signals-to-eyes-and-mouth-for-crying -> she cries and as soon as she's fed the crying stops! If this is "not developed", what is? :-p) but most of the other times, she'd sleep.

Slowly, things started to change.She started smiling first sometime in her second or third month. This was random and with no connection to anybody/anything whatsoever. Some people even say that these might be due to gas bubbles ;-). But soon, she started to focus on faces and smile. Then slowly went on to laugh. I remember the first time she laughed loudly; she was alone in her crib. I thought she was crying and came running and discovered with wonder that she was actually laughing! And yeah I promptly ran back to get the camera to record this "achievement”:-D. Now-a-days she recognizes faces and smiles widely, laughs when tickled or when the person she's watching is laughing :).Another progress that people usually keep track of is the movement. At first she stayed where she was (Obviously, she's not a calf to start running as soon as she was born:-p). Then one fine day, in April, when we were in India, she rolled on to her stomach from her back (we never "taught" her how to:-D). And the thrill was memorable. From then on she'd fall on her stomach whenever and then cry as she still didn't know how to roll back. At first she'd do this only during the day, so we'd be around to lift her back onto her back. Still later when we returned to KSA, she started doing it in nights too. So she'd cry in the middle of the night and we'd realize that she has rolled onto her stomach:-D. She was like Abhimanyu, knowing only to enter the circle and not get out :-D. But suddnely one day she tried and tried and rolled back to laying on her back all on her own :)). And she's been on a roll eversince, excuse the pun ;-). At first her rolls would be haphazard, as in she'd roll under a table/to the edge of the sofa. Now she has learnt even to target her rolls. I have to narrate this incident - recently Jia was lying in the center of the hall and I had my laptop open in one corner. She saw the laptop screen and then aimed her rolling in such a way that she ended up peeping right at the screen of the laptop! she was trying to lift her stomach. Previously she used to be supported by her wrists while on her stomach, but now she has graduated to palms. So we were looking forward to her sitting up/crawling soon :-D.She dindt disapooin for log.Aug'06 she sat n started crawling!I was there nex to her when she did it for teh 1st time! Euphoria was my feeling!!

Other than these, her voice which was previously only for crying has advanced to different tones. In addition to laughter, there is a tone for protest, one for response, a squeal, and various other "Ha"s, "Tha"s, "Ma"s and "Dha"s. Now she cries if strangers get too close (happened at her last check-up where she cried at the touch of the nurse and the doctor) and cries if my voice raises a bit in volume/tone :-D. In other words she recognizes a scolding I give her ;-) :-D. She also cries at the bang of utensils (if they fall down or make sounds when they are being rearranged) and at the whistle of a pressure cooker :)). Slowly, she's learning fear and its a fascinating thing to see the changes :). She loves watching moving people and now recently, moving cars.But the best of all these, according to me, is the grasp development I've been noticing very closely.

Before we left to India in Sept'06, I bought her a smooth rattle. She wasn't really able to hold it in her palm then. Later she learnt to hold it with both hands and still later went on to holding it in a single hand. It was then we tried squeaking toys (in her case a squeeking toy bear). It was so different from the rattle that she wasn't able to hold it even using 2 hands. Slowly she learned to. Till one day when I discovered her holding it in one palm! Then she learnt to pass the toys from one hand to another, to hold soft toys and later bigger toys. Just yesterday I was really surprised to see that she was squeezing the squeeking toy and making it squeek! She wasn't able to do that a few months back!

Times have rolled by, she is now a baby grown enough to attend school in next few months! Her growth, her acts, her expressions, her talks, her games, her dances, her smiles have all touched the innermost corners of my heart. I can’t seem to enjoy anything else but Jia’s company! She is my de-stresser! I can’t wait to rush back home to be with her at the end of stressful days at work! Jia is all entertainment! Amidst all these are forgotten the pangs of pain when she is ill or quiet! I can’t bear it when she is silent or not her playful smiling self. I jump to soothe any of her complaints or questions. Fatherhood! Yes the experience is what no words can ever describe! Fatherhood-has changed me! It’s blissful & all I ever pray is now for this feeling to last a life time!!

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. ~Irish Saying. I did not beleive it till recently.Now my little angel-all of 2years 9month,suddenly makes me realise that this great words are but true! Even at this tender age ,she leave aside all that she is engrossed-playing with & rushes to our sides whenever me or Kavi play act or say something is hurting or bothering us! Jia immediately kisses that part & says "dont worry, I hv given u a kiss n u will be ok soon"! She tries to do equal justice to both me & Kavi & you can actually feel the gush of happiness she gets when both of us huddle upto her whilst she sleeps blissfully like a princess between us!

I can't really explain what a thrill it is to see these so-called minor changes. It’s like, each and every hour of the day she's learning new things. Her brain is assimilating new information every minute and it’s an absolutely amazing phenomenon to watch as parents. I don't even have the words to describe the joy I feel whenever I see a new lesson learnt :). And imagine, this is only the beginning. There's so much for her to learn, so much more to do. I'm sure it'll all not be easy, but oh man, its gonna be so much fun. And I'm already looking forward to the whole thing :) a NEW AWAKENING…A NEW beginning…..A NEW LEARNIN OF LIFE..ALL OVER AGAIN….THROUGH THE EYES/EXPERIENCES OF MY LITTLE ANGLEIC PRINCESS.

Jia beta, Dadda luvs u like no words can do justice to!!! U r indeed my new awakening
sweetheart!! Amidst all these,my own childhood memories run through my eyes & now realise what/how my parents might have felt when I was small & dindt understand why/what they said & meant.Now I realise, learn,understand & hence there we go.....a new learning all over...understanding my own parents..thanks to Jia.....the cycle is coming round-all over again!Life is repeating history!A new beginning taking shape yet again......


"There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself "~John Gregory Brown