My Daddy Strongest.........!!

Well thats exactly what I thought about my Daddy untill he decided to give us all a fright by falling ill a few years ago & thankfully recovered well by now.

Eventhough I am grown up and am a a avid healthcare subsriber with my BIG sis-Suji being the fall back healthcare expert in our family, I always kinda belived that my papa was invincible... so when he fell ill... it shocked me.Guess all this got me thinking about Poppa (as I call him), is the sternest luking man with big,strong words for the world! Yet I saw him as the funniest man you could ever meet...he will crack you up with his silly pj's and usually manages to make us all laugh.He is a man who at the age of 67 still tries wrestling with his grown son-ya ya verbal volleying (tries being the key word here)...he still like it when we make a major fuss on his Bday and he still irritates mom by trying to comment on all dat she does & says in the kitchen :): or elsewhere)(guess this actually makes her addicted to him n his non-stop comments).But among all the laughter he is strict when necessary..he made it sure that both his kids learnt how important it was to give respect and to command respect from others.I have always been his darling...his most favorite person(or I atleast like to think so:):))...anyways he has always been there for me and and no request (read demand) of mine was ever forgotten or not dealt with. Among all the fun and frolic I do belive I am what I am today because of him n ofcourse because of mom (but thats a whole different story...or blog rather). We have had our shares of arguments and fights but that doesnt change the fact that Poppa has always been there for me whenever..wherever.I have always tried to live my life on the standards and principles that he had set for himself and I think my biggest achievment till date would be the fact that my parents are somehwere deep within themselves proud of me.(thogh he never shows dat...or tells dat)

When Popppa fell ill..I actually ended up thinking that life as i knew it was over...untill the results showed us that he was indeed a strong man who came back to life( after a massive cardiac arrest outta blue one early morning 4.30am on 14Nov'97)!!! But dont think I will ever take anything for granted ever again.My Poppa is still the greatest n bestest n funniest n coolest n.....but have realized that he might not be the strongest and that its time I became strong for his sake...time for me to grow up n time for him to relax...Poppa ,all dat I do every single day as soon as I get up is....Pray the lord for yours n mom's health & happiness ...& every single nite, just before I hit bed..pray 2 d lord thanking HIM for blessings me to be your son...I love ya soooooooooooooo much dad,,though I have never ever told you sooo!!!!

I know,my Poppa somewhere deep within feels that I'm quiet opppsoite fo what he is!He is very much a PERFECTIONIST-practical, realistic & has a ammassing eye for detail to the point of being irritating to people who do not see the care,big heart dat he has! Many take offense to his way of pseech when he tries ot get his point of view across-loud n clear!(So did I).My Poppa always felt I was a sorta softy who anyone could impress n mould my views!But Poppa I want to anounce today ,here dat U hv been my role model!I dondt need a better example of a self made man !U r d role model whom I try to emulate!U , yr words, yr acts & yr perfectionism is what I have at the back of my mind-every waking moment!

I'm mighty proud of u Poppa(though I never said so to u or made u aware fo my repsects for u).I genuinely & profusely apologise for any of my acts, talks n deeds dat hurt you & took you far away from being my best frined ever!!Yes Poppa,I know I did hurt your image, your self belief & swabhimaan when I purposely chose to do something that u wld never ever want your sonny to do!I resent myself to this very day for all acts of immature,boyish growing up years dat am sure has hurt u immensely somewhere deep within..thou u never hv told dat in words.......yr silence speaks poppa....does speak indeed!

But then, I was your lil young son who always wanted to be a self made man who followed his dreams n achieve a BIG name for himself rather than me always referred as SHAMSUNDER'S son! I think U know it as well!Your words on 19Oct'97 when you came to the B'lore railway station to bid gudbye ot me as I was moving outta B'lore for the 1st time...still ring in my ears that 'every young bird has to one day fly by itself high in the sky' !!

Life comes around in circles....yes indeed! now a days when I tell somethings to Lil Jia,I suddenly realise dat those were d very same words dat u Used 2 say 2 me..n then back in those growing up years it dindt make sense n made me rebel...but now...I do understand Poppa...I do!! I would not b wat I'm 2day..if not for yr stern ways n talks.So...just hv to say thankyou Poppa....Now I can understand the ways n meaninsg of wat u said n the way u wanted to see your kids grow up. I'm doing the same..now following yr footsteps n passing on all dat u did teach me...........

SUDDENLY...time stands still....I'm lost Poppa....I'm!! I'm choking with a big lump in my throat as I write all these abt u ......& never had d time/spirits nor ability 2 convey all these 2 u.............So I leave it here......treasuring all dat u tried teaching n telling me as I'm sure u now know me the way u always have....silent & yet expressive through hearts!!.

"A father is always making his baby into a little big man. And when he is a man he turns him back again." ~Enid Bagnold